Gay Bar
by Zaztei
Summary: After a hard day of work Oriya heads to a bar, gets drunk, and sets out with a single goal of taking Muraki somewhere. MurakiOriya Hilarity


Gay Bar

"Fourteen….fifteen….nineteen…" There was a slight pause. "No damn it, that can't be right."

Closing his eyes Oriya shook his head; causing his long shiny brown hair to whip around his head. Bringing up his hands he rubbed at his eyes for a little while before he opened them again. Staring straight ahead he tried to focus on the numerous beer bottles that sat in a neat row on the counter in front of him. For a brief moment everything seemed to look fine, then the bottles began to multiply and blend together. Some of the bottles were lighter then others, some were only half a bottle; the top part of it remaining suspended in air.

Bringing up a finger, Oriya tried to pick out the real bottles so he could see how many he had drank so far. He then tried to count again. "Let's see…there's four. No wait…that's not a real one." He paused slightly and he leaned foreword on his bar stool; raising one eyebrow in the process as he stared confused. "Seventeen?"

Groaning Oriya placed a hand on his foreword and he leaned backwards; causing him to loose his balance and to fall of his stool. He landed with a thunk on the wooden floor and he just laid there; his hand still on his forehead and his legs slightly spread apart.

A large man then towered over Oriya; his arms crossed across his chest. "I've think you've had enough."

"Oh yeah?" Oriya raised a shaky hand and he pointed up at where he thought the man was standing; not noticing that he was about four inches off his desired target. "Well I think you're ugly!"

Scowling the man stooped down and picked Oriya up by the front of his purple kimono. The man set Oriya back on his feet, though he only stood there for about four seconds before he wavered and he fell back down to the ground. With a deep sigh the large man picked Oriya up off the floor again; this time holding on to his kimono with one hand. "It's time for you to leave."

"Awwwwwwww!" Oriya brought up his arms and he wrapped them around the mans neck and he stared up at him with wide eyes. "So soon?"

The large man shrugged Oriyas arms off of him and he threw him out of the bars doors and into the moonlit night. After clapping his hands together a few times; the man closed the door. He then smirked and he held the door closed; watching with some amusement as Oriya stood up and tried to open the door back up.

It was then that the bar manager walked over and he glared at the big man. "What the hell are you doing? Get his drunken ass back in here! He hasn't paid for his drinks yet!"

Hearing what the man said, Oriya let out a sly laugh and he quickly ran away from the door before the man had a chance to open it. He stopped a few feet away from the door however, and he stuck his tongue out at the man. He then turned back around and proceeded to run away from the bar in a wavy line; his arms stretched out to his side like airplane wings.

After he had been running like that for a while though tons of random streets, Oriya spotted a familiar man in a large white overcoat. Keeping his arms spread out, Oriya put his plane into overdrive and he sped towards Muraki. When he reached him, he ran around the man in a circle about four times before he jumped on his back. "Oh Muraki, my bestest buddy! Wazz up?"

Muraki tilted his head slightly to the left so he could look at Oriya who was now giggling like a schoolgirl. "What the hell happened to you?"

"Ah well…" Oriya paused for a moment as he nuzzled the back of Murakis head. "You see, it was a very…veeeeery long and ruff day today. Everybody was being a real bitch! I mean a B-I-T-C-H, bitch!" He paused again and he hopped off Murakis back though he still clung on to him with one hand so he could keep his balance. "So, I decided that I needed to go down and have a drink or few."

Raising an eyebrow Muraki stared at his drunken friend. "Just how much did you drink exactly?"

Bringing his free hand up to his side Oriya shrugged and laughed. "No idea! The damn beer bottles kept on moving so I couldn't get an accurate count!" Oriya then proceeded to giggle and he rested his head against Murakis shoulder.

Muraki wrapped one arm around Oriya and he began to walk off with him. "That's it, you're going home."

Oriyas eyes widened and he shook Murakis arm off of him; causing himself to slide down to the ground. Oriya then leaned foreword and wrapped his arms around the middle part of Murakis legs and clung on so Muraki couldn't walk. "Nooooo! I don't wanna go home!"

"I don't care!" Muraki shouted as he swatted at Oriyas arms with a hand. "You're too drunk to be out here in public! You have to go…" Murakis sentence was cut short as he lost his balance and he fell face first onto the pavement; Oriya still clinging on to his legs. Lifting his face up from the sidewalk he finished his sentence. "…home."

Still clinging on to Murakis pants, Oriya wiggled his way up till his head was resting on Murakis ass; his arms now wrapped around his chest and he pleaded. "Please! Just let me do one thing first and then I promise I'll go home!"

Muraki was silent for a moment then he let out a giant sigh. "Fine. What is it that you want to do?"

"Well…." Oriya rolled off Muraki so he could look at him straight in the eye. "I want to take you to a bar…"

"You were just at a bar." 

"No…" A dreamy look entered Oriyas eyes as he continued to stare at Muraki. Reaching out a hand, Oriya gently brushed Murakis cheek. "I want to take you to a gay bar."

Muraki quickly sat up and he stared at Oriya. "Wh-what?"

Smiling Oriya hopped up to his feet and after wavering slightly he stood up straight and he looked at Muraki. The streetlights then seemed to shine on him like stage lights and some surfer like music flooded into the streets out of nowhere. Oriya bobbed his head slightly to the music then he pointed a finger at Muraki and he shouted out in a song like voice. "Man!"

With his finger still pointing at Muraki, Oriya began to sway his hips from side to side and he continued to sing out with the music. "I wanna take you to a gay bar." Oriya then went back to bobbing his head slightly and he undid the top of his kimono, letting it slide down till his waist where his sash stopped it, making it look like he was wearing a fancy purple skirt. Oriya flexed his muscles slightly the he spun around in a tight circle and he picked Muraki off the ground. "I wanna take you to a gay bar!"

After doing an upbeat jig like dance with Muraki for a while, Oriya pulled Muraki in close and held him next to his naked chest. He then reached out a hand and slapped Muraki on his ass before he went back to singing. "I wanna take you to a gay bar, gay bar, gay bar!"

Laughing Oriya spun Muraki away. Then doing some fancy feet wiggles, jumps, and twirls Oriya managed to find his way over to a light pole. He grabbed the pole with one arm and he spun around it a few times. Oriya then paused slightly then he spun so that his back was pressed against the pole and he gave Muraki a sexy look. "Let's start a war, start a nuclear war." There was a slight pause, then Oriya began to pole dance. "At the gay bar, gay bar, gay bar!"

Turning his back to his friend, Oriya then thrust his hands out to his side and he jiggled his ass quickly back and forth. He then threw his arms up above his head. "Wow!"

The music picked up it's pace and Oriya left the pole and did the kankan over to a marble fountain edge. With a small jump he landed on the top of the edge and he laid down on the ledge. He paused for a moment then he began to do the worm. After he had traveled about four feet, he flipped back onto his feet. "At the gay bar!"

The music continued with its upbeat pace and Oriya spread his legs so that one was behind him and the other was in front of him; slightly bent. He then did a few rocker style head bangs, causing his long hair to whip way out in front of him and then be flung to the back of his head. Bringing his hands out Oriya then began to rock out on an air guitar. The music then began to move even faster and Oriya began to hop on one foot while he still played the air guitar.

After that had been going on for a little bit, Oriya lost his balance and he fell into the fountain. He just floated there for a little while, then finding the fountain to be somewhat deep he began to swim around on his back. "Now tell me do ya?" He paused and he did a few arm and leg movements causing him to twirl around in the water. "But do you have any money?"

Dipping his head and upper body under the water Oriya then did a handstand and he twirled around. He then pushed off with his hands, did a flip in the air and stood up in the fountain; the water coming just above his knees. Raising a hand he pointed a finger at Muraki and he went back to shaking his ass. "I wanna spend all your money, at the gay bar, gay bar, gay bar!"

Oriya quickly twirled around a few times then he fell backwards back into the water. He sunk completely below the waters surface and the music that was playing from nowhere faded away.

Sighing Muraki stood up from the bench that he had been sitting on and he walked over to the fountains edge glad that the horrid thing was finally over. Bending over he peered into the fountains clear waters trying to pick Oriya out. Normally it would've been an easy task, but it was night and all the lights in the fountain for some reason were turned off.

After a little while Muraki found nothing though much to his annoyance, the surfer like music began to play again in its fast pace. It started out quiet, but within no time, it was loud and filled the whole square with noise.

Before Muraki had a chance to move, Oriya leapt out of the fountain and clung onto Murakis back; causing the mans white suit to also get wet. Oriya bobbed his head a few times then went back to his singing. "I've got something to put in you! I've got something to put in you!"

Murakis eyes widened and he turned around to look at his friend though Oriya just leaned foreword and kissed Muraki lightly on his cheek. Then laughing Oriya jumped off Murakis back and he spun around in a tight circle before he faced Muraki again. He then began to moonwalk backwards while he pointed a finger once again at Muraki. "I've got something to put in you!" Oriya winked and he nodded his head. "At the gay bar, gay bar, gay bar."

After doing a few head bangs, Oriya threw his hands up into the air. "Wow!" Then bringing up one leg, Oriya grabbed onto his ankle and he swung his leg back and forth. "You're a superstar, at the gay bar." He continued to do that for a while then he jumped up and switched legs. "You're a superstar, at the gay bar."

Putting his leg down Oriya shook his hips as he bent his knees, causing himself to go lower and lower towards the ground. "Yeah! You're a superstar, yeah at the gay bar!" Finally reaching the ground, Oriya sat down cross-legged and he clapped his hands together and held them close to his chest. He then held his hands up above his head; still in the clapped position and he began to bob his head from side to side. "You're a superstar, at the gay bar."

There was a slight pause then Oriya flipped himself back up onto his feet. He wavered slightly and he fell foreword; crashing face first into Murakis chest. Muraki lost his balance and he fell backwards; crashing into the pavement. Oriya wrapped his arms around Murakis chest and he hugged him like he was a giant teddy bear. "Superstar." Oriya yawned and he sung out a bit quieter. "Super, super, superstar…" Oriya then yawned again and he closed his eyes; the music that was playing now fading away for good.

When everything was quiet Muraki looked down at his friend and he nudged him slightly. "Oriya?"

His only answer was a slight snore, as Oriya snuggled Muraki; his hands clenching his overcoat in a death grip.

Grumbling Muraki placed a hand on Oriyas head and pushed down trying to knock the man off him. When Oriyas grip failed to loosen, Muraki just sighed and stood up; Oriya still clinging on to his overcoat. Reaching down Muraki picked Oriya up and he began to walk off into the night, all the while shaking his head and mumbling the nights events. Finally after a few feet he stopped and he let out a sigh. "Damn…I need a drink."

Gay Bar, The End


End file.
